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Significato di end it (all) in inglese. end it (all) usually humorous. to kill yourself: And if this doesn't work, I'm just going to end it all. SMART Vocabulary: parole e frasi correlate. Killing. -cide. abattoir. anti-suicide. assisted suicide. cull. culpable homicide. deadly. decimation. destroy. fatal. liquidate. mortal. predation.
3 ott 2022 · End It All is a program that allows you to disable several processes simultaneously. Disclaimer: This program has not been updated since 2012, and doesn't support the latest Windows OS.
- Securityapplication
- 1.0.0.3
- Windows XP,Windows 2000
- Overview
- Confronting the Triggers
- Realizing What I Had Really Wanted Was an Escape
- Seeing It As a Coping Mechanism and Finding Other Coping Mechanisms
- This, Too, Shall Pass
- Feeling Safe Sharing My Feelings
- Being Responsible for Other People Gave Me Purpose
- I Don’t Want to Piss My Mom Off in the Afterlife
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This article contains content about suicide. If reading this brings up uncomfortable feelings for you, you can speak confidentially with trained advocates for free. Contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
I once believed that I would absolutely die by suicide. Some people develop deep fears of cancer or heart attacks and become convinced that this is how they will go. For me, it was suicide.
Until suicidal thoughts haunted me, I couldn’t fathom why someone would think about taking their own life. Then, my mother’s ovarian cancer diagnosis was updated to Stage IV, and I fantasized about throwing myself in front of a taxi in New York City.
For one, my therapist would be incredibly blunt. She would ask me, "Do you really want to die because of X?" Often, I was being triggered by something that was incredibly trivial, but thinking of suicide was the default way my brain had learned how to cope.
So no, I didn’t really want to die because of something mean someone said. It sounds so silly to say it that way, but it’s what my brain would immediately go to.
There’s a Gabby Bernstein quote I love: “True healing occurs when I give myself permission to feel whatever feelings live below the triggers.”
Before going to treatment, I could only recognize the triggers—a song that reminded me of my mom, a picture on Instagram of someone’s cute family that reminded me I was single, news of someone’s promotion that reminded me of my unemployment.
I also realized that I never actually really wanted to die in the first place. For the first year or two, after leaving residential treatment, I would fantasize about a suicide attempt that would land me back in residential treatment. It took me a while, but I eventually realized that I didn’t actually want to die. I just really wanted to escape.
On some level, I don’t think I ever truly wanted to end my life; I just wanted a relief from the pain that I was feeling, and nothing I had done up until that point had worked, so I didn’t believe anything else would work in the future, either.
Suicide attempts and “suicidal gestures” are sometimes called—in a derisive way—“a cry for help” or attention. Because I had relatively high-functioning depression and didn't fully withdraw from my life, I felt like I wasn't being taken seriously enough because I believed nobody could understand my pain—but I also had a hard time communicating it.
As a society, we say we want people to ask for help when they need it, but often people feel like they aren't taken seriously.
It was a combination of confronting my triggers and realizing I didn’t actually want to die that helped me realize that my suicidal ideation was actually a coping mechanism in a weird way. I “coped” with the pain by telling myself I had an “out” if it was too much.
My therapist and I identified that, typically, the suicidal ideation came at the bottom of a spiral. Initially, I told her the thoughts came on too quickly to catch the ones before them.
Over time, I learned that actually, I was just ignoring the thoughts preceding the ideation, such as “I’m going to die alone” or “I’m a failure professionally.”
I also will “go searching” for reasons to justify why I’m so depressed and deserve to die. Typically, even if there are a bunch of hard things going on at once, it’s usually only one or two difficult things causing an emotion in a given moment.
I’m able to tell myself, “You don’t want to die; you’re just stressed that ___ is happening, and it makes everything else look bleak.”
Healthy Coping Skills for Uncomfortable Emotions
I realized that the bad times would pass. To be fair, it took until a lot of the bad times had already passed for me to realize this. It’s something that’s so hard to see through the fog. This might sound trite saying, but “you’ve survived 100% of your bad days” got me through.
I had already been through worse things. These were “just” thoughts and feelings. Experiencing my mom dying is still worse than my feeling like I wanted to die.
Before going to treatment, I barely felt safe sharing my emotions in therapy, much less in “real life.” My mom was amazing in so many ways, but she either coddled me or invalidated my emotions, so I had a hard time trusting that others wouldn’t dismiss what I felt.
Early in the pandemic, I had one more incident where I drank too much and took too many pills. Like so many others at that time, I was feeling so afraid and lonely with what was happening, and I wanted so badly to numb out.
Although I’d learned so much about my emotions by then—and had started grad school to become a therapist—it was hard to feel like my own emotions mattered in the middle of a global crisis we were all dealing with.
Although I’d learned so much about my emotions by then—and had started grad school to become a therapist—it was hard to feel like my own emotions mattered in the middle of a global crisis we were all dealing with.
“You don’t need to excessively be altered to let people know how you are feeling,” my therapist told me, and I’m a little ashamed to admit just how much of a lightbulb moment that was.
Sounding the alarm was the way to get myself heard growing up, but as an adult, I could…just tell people how I was feeling? It had genuinely never occurred to me I could tell people more than that I was feeling depressed…I could tell them why?!
I can be decent at putting myself in someone else’s shoes, and I knew how much I would struggle if I found out that my therapist died by suicide, so it kind of started with me not wanting to do that to someone else.
But more than that, becoming a therapist and working with other people through their pain helped me find a purpose for my own suffering. While I initially considered my suicide attempts and hospitalizations as my own kind of scarlet letter as a therapist around colleagues, I realized that it was an asset with my clients.
Whether I disclosed or not didn’t always matter—I’ve learned that these lived experiences give me a level of knowledge and empathy you just can’t find in a book or a training.
Plus, my clients inspire me daily. I hate the amount of pain they’ve gone through that has brought us together, but I am constantly amazed by the strength and resilience they’ve shown through those times.
One of my best friends said to me once, “Your mom would be mad if she saw you before she was supposed to.“
I’m not sure what exactly I believe about the afterlife, but I do believe in its existence, and I absolutely know I do not want to face the wrath of my Sicilian mother there for eternity.
6 lug 2008 · The Urge to End It All. By Scott Anderson. July 6, 2008. “There is but one truly serious philosophical problem,” Albert Camus wrote, “and that is suicide.”
Traduzione per 'end it all' nel dizionario inglese-italiano gratuito e tante altre traduzioni in italiano.
29 feb 2024 · The meaning of END IT ALL is to commit suicide. How to use end it all in a sentence.
It Ends with Us is a romance novel by Colleen Hoover, published by Atria Books on August 2, 2016. Based on the relationship between her mother and father, Hoover described it as "the hardest book I've ever written." As of 2019, the novel had sold over one million copies worldwide and been translated into over twenty languages.
